Overcoming Disappointment

We have all been there at one time or another .. the job that did not work out, the business that didn’t grow how you planned, the relationship that broke your heart, or the overall timeline of life that somehow just does not seem to be adding up how you hoped it would. First of all I am here to tell you, you are not alone by any means, but more importantly we do serve a God who sees and is very aware of those all important details.

So what do you do when those times come? And let’s be honest it doesn’t always feel like an isolated event. Sometimes it is a long season where everywhere you turn it is like all the signs are saying “Wait, wait, wait,” and now all you want to do is chuck that sign out the window and far out of your sight. “Not that God! Anything but waaaaiting.” Just me? One of the best ways I have learned to break this down is to not focus on what seems to be a set back and instead choose to look for God’s hand and what things He is trying to form in my character through the trial. The beauty of how God’s mind operates is that He is not just working on the temporal plane, He is always thinking from an eternal perspective. Look I don’t claim to know the mind of God but I do know we sure don’t get a lot of time on this earth so it is pretty apparent all of the tests and trials we go through are more about the eternal picture than the place we are currently living in now.

So as we begin to view things from the eternal perspective it becomes less about what we are and are not getting in this life, and more about proximity to Him. What if that death to self process is actually the greatest blessing in disguise? What if that relationship or position you wanted so bad was actually the very thing that would have kept you from the deepest place you could achieve in God. Sometimes we have to take inventory of what is really important and find gratitude by keeping the first things first.

Now what to do when the panic starts to set in and the thoughts creep in .. “Okay God I am waiting, I am choosing to see your hand in everything, and even enjoying this time with you, but let’s be honest .. it’s still hard!” This is where one of my favorite friends comes into play … faith.

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

One of the biggest ways I have learned in my walk to counteract personal disappointment is by having a positive faith and expectation for the future. Even if I cannot see what it is I choose to keep the positive disposition that it is going to be really really good! Coming from a person who used to deal with very immense depression (that’s a post for another day) I came to realize if I could use all my faith to believe the negative and worst of a situation .. why couldn’t I put that same effort towards believing the best? When this realization hit my whole world began to change. It was a process but in time the way my mind was hardwired began to change and instead of it being a constant struggle to shift my mind it started to become a part of who I was. And boy let me tell you choosing to have peace instead of worrying is the way to go.

Okay now in a post like this I cannot leave out a very important word that if I’m honest felt like a curse word in my world in some seasons (okay I’m being dramatic). Ready for it … “Patience.”

“But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” James 1:4

Now read that verse again but this time slowly. Patience has to do a work in your life which means there is a process that is involved but what I want to highlight is the benefits that she brings! What happens when we let her have that perfect work? When we really let God perfect us in the waiting and not just bide our time wondering when the season will be over, but really do the heart work He requires. All this hard work comes with a promise, that we can become perfect and entire but check out the best part, “wanting nothing.” If you think about a season of waiting or when a disappointment comes it usually means something is lacking or missing that you wish would be there because in our minds if it would just come then we could feel complete! But that’s not what God’s word tells us. God shows us that by allowing patience to have her work in us that is actually how our internal desires will be satisfied.

“That ye be not slothful, but followers of them who though faith and patience inherit the promises.” Hebrews 6:12

In this verse we see that having patience is actually what links us up to inherit the promises of God. Now that’s good news! Also notice the first part of the verse where we are commanded to not be slothful. Many times in the waiting we can get lethargic because we can feel like not a lot is happening or we think, “Well I would have more zeal if I just had that things I wanted.” No! God is saying stir yourself up, be motivated, and be about the assignment He has already given you. Be faithful and steward this time of preparation while keeping a positive expectation that blessings are right around the corner, because with God they always are!

The last thing I would mention is that when the enemy tries to hit you with the hopelessness of a situation not having a way to turn around this is where it is important to “overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony.” Look back over your life and pause to remember all the other seemingly impossible situations that the Lord has brought you through and you will realize that this time will be no different. He brought you through before and He will faithfully bring you through again! God has a beautiful plan for your life but He wants you to partner with Him in faith and high expectation. Not because of who we are or anything we bring to the table but simply because of who He is.

“But without faith it is impossible to please Him: for he that cometh to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him.” Hebews 11:6

Lastly as you come to peace with the closed doors and the things God might have said no to or just did not quite work out in the last season, now it is time to continue in prayer. We have the promise that God rewards us when we seek Him but we have a part to play.

“Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Phil 4:6-7

When we go through disappointment there is the pain and let down of what wasn’t and many times that steals our peace from where God has us currently. God does not tell us to just suck it up and solider on, He instructs us to release those desires to Him in prayer and the trade off is a peace that surpasses our understanding. This means that even if we can’t see the new outcome or beauty in it just yet we can still experience His perfect peace by choosing to be okay in what we don’t understand yet with our minds. As you release the claw grip you had on your expectations you will find a freedom to grasp hold of God with open arms and full expectation in a way you never have before. There is beauty in surrender.

I don’t know the current season you find yourself in or the depths of pain from past disappointments that you are working to overcome but I do know that God cares for you deeply and can turn even the darkest situations into times of refreshing and joy. Don’t give up hope, continue to make your requests known to God, and thank Him in advance that it is already done. It might not looked how you planned but it is beautiful none the less because of who you are becoming. - Alexis

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